PLGRM

I lead a lot of groups and teach a lot of classes. The way I like to operate is to include as many people who want to talk as possible. But I’ve been doing this long enough to know that if I don’t watch it, the extroverts will take over the discussion, so a regular practice of mine is to make sure people are thinking about their contributions and are not dominating the time together.

On the flip side, I don’t want to force someone to participate any more than they are comfortable doing so. I’m not a formal educator in a classroom setting so I can’t make anyone answer a question I’m asking. Especially since I like to go a little deeper than most teachers/facilitators (I’m a pastor so it’s a hazard of the job, I guess) I want people to know they are safe and in full control of their participation.

In order to help ensure this safety I use a particular statement over and over again: “No is a good answer.”

I’ve also hear people say “‘No’ is a complete sentence.” I like that, too.

My point, here, is I think we need to give ourselves permission to say ‘No’ more than we do. We are not at each other’s whim and fancy. We each have agency and that should be not only guarded, but celebrated.

Here’s a good run down of how to work this little word into your regular vocabulary.