PLGRM

“The honeymoon is over” is meant to be said as a bad thing.

When we say it, we’re referencing that time at the beginning of every relationship when things are harmonious, when everything we do or attempt is free of problems. But then that’s all over. And now…well, it’s not the honeymoon anymore.

Historian Susan Waggoner says the honeymoon “dates from the days of marriage by capture when, after snatching his bride, the groom swept her away to a secret location, safe from discovery by her angry kin.” And there he would keep her until “the family would either give up the search or the bride would become pregnant, making all questions of her return moot.”

Gross.

Now, a lot of couples just go away on a post-nuptial vacation (My own honeymoon was a long weekend.). But then they need to come back to the “real world.”

The honeymoon is over. And that’s a good thing.

No matter the context, the honeymoon is not when the hard work – the rewarding work – is accomplished. It’s an important time. It’s when we get to know one another. It’s what lays the groundwork for what’s coming down the road.

But it’s not The Work (TM).

You can’t do The Work (TM) until the honeymoon is over. The work of compassionate honesty. The work of compromise. The work of sacrifice. The work of day-in-day-out love.

Thank God the honeymoon is over. Now the fun begins.