PLGRM

(This is a post about religion, but I think it applies to all groups of people in one way or another.)

When I was growing up, I was taught the most important thing about being a Christian was that I believed the right things. My mental acceptance of a set of principles defined my status in the church. Was I in “good standing” or not? Well, tell me what you believe and I’ll tell you if you’re good.

Then I learned about Christians who put an emphasis on behavior. This felt important to me because there is no way to tell if you and I think and understand the same way about an idea. But we can tell if we are both behaving the same. Are you engaging in daily prayer and giving to the poor? That’s good enough for us!

Many of the Christians I’ve encountered as I’ve gotten older have made it a point to prioritize belonging. They rationalize that no one will change behaviors or ascribe to new beliefs if they do not feel loved and accepted by a community.

These three ideas have captured a lot of the way Christians have thought of Christian identity over the last 20 years. I want to suggest a different “B word”: Beholding.

I admit I’m less and less interested in forcing a person to believe a particular thing. It’s important what we think, no doubt (and I’m a professional theological preacher and teacher, so it matters to me), but only in so far as what we teach should lead us to greater wholeness.

Likewise, I think some measure of behavioral modification is good, but I’ve been a part of too many legalistic, puritanical communities that there is no way our actions should be the end all and be all of what we’re striving for.

Likewise, we can tell people they are welcome in a place, but there are – let’s admit – people we don’t want as a part of our groups. Personally, I follow a “No Asshole Rule” and think we all should.

I am hypothesizing that the best thing (particularly) churches can do is try to behold one another. I often act the way I act because I feel misunderstood or dismissed or devalued or or or… The best moments and seasons of my life are when I was seen for who I really was, warts and all. Then when I feel safe and seen, I can try to be more of the person I was created to be.

What do you think? Am I on to something, or is this just a distinction without a difference?