The thing I fear the most is looking stupid in front of other people. I will go to great lengths to avoid it. Being forced to say “I don’t know” is physically painful. This is not a metaphor. It literally hurts in my brain to admit I am ill-informed and have either made a mistake or have stepped out too far in something I’ve said.
Something else that is also true about me: I crave knowledge more than anything in the world. I love to know things. I find information fascinating especially if I can use it to identify patterns.
Here’s what I’ve learned as I’ve grown: The quickest way to get what I want is to do what I fear.
If I can see my own ignorance as a gift, it will be the very thing that allows – that justifies – me to learn and gain more knowledge.
Is this what Jesus meant by: if you want to save your life you have to lose it?
What do you fear most? What do you need to lose in order to save your life?


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