PLGRM

A few weeks ago, I was invited by some friends to play Survivor.

Yes, that kind of Survivor.

As in: “The Tribe has spoken” Survivor.

I really thought I had a shot at going a long way in the game. I’m sort of athletic, I’m relatively skilled at games and puzzles, I’m fairly personable. I wasn’t arrogant enough to think I’d win – there’s too much chance in the gameplay for that – but I thought I had as good a shot as anyone.

I didn’t even make it to the Merge.

I wasn’t devastated or angry. It’s a game, after all, and I had so much fun. But I will admit, my lack of success messed with me. I probably spent 4-5 days afterward replaying moments in my mind, trying to see where I could have done something better or different.

I’ve believe my downfall was that I overextended. I made a play at an alliance early on without fully understanding the dynamics of those on my tribe. I had suggested to one that we vote out another. Bad move. A majority of my tribe were family members.

My fate was sealed as soon as we lost our next challenge.

Especially on TV, when there’s $1 Million on the line, contestants are always on edge. They are anxious and they are fearful, and they resort to some fairly understandable tactics. In Survivor you lose if you don’t lie and cheat. If you don’t use and discard people along the way, then you’re the one who’ll be used and discarded.

Survivor is a “Me Game” not a “We Game.”

Playing Survivor is unnerving. Contestants are constantly aware that there are forces at work they have no control over. Games are part skill and part luck. Anyone can earn immunity at any time. People are always making deals among themselves to join forces in opposition to others, knowing those allies will have to turn on one another eventually.

There are forces at play in Survivor that contestants are aware of, but do not – and cannot – fully comprehend. This uncertain glimpse of whatever is guiding the game messes with people. They are unable to trust or understand whatever is driving the game. They get more than a little anxious and fearful. Contestants in Survivor behave as they do because they believe self-centered action is their only option to succeed, to win, to survive.

This same dynamic is at play as we live our lives.

It is very rare that I have a conversation with someone and they say they do not think there is a god. What I most often hear is that whatever is more/beyond our existence (what we would call “God” as a term of art) is so unknowable there is no practical influence that something can or should have on our daily lives.

In moments of honesty and humility, these conversation partners of mine reject the moral and ethical claims folks like you an I make because, they say, they are arbitrarily made. And I don’t think they’re wrong. Based only on a sense of God, there is no way we can really know the claims we make are right.

Much like playing Survivor, we live our lives with an uncertain glimpse of what’s going on in the universe, and it’s this uncertain glimpse that leads to our sinful behavior.

Of course, we’re going to need to dive into what “Sin” actually is (and we will), but I want to hold on this point for just a second.

I’m sure, like me you were taught from a young age that Sin originates in our arrogance and pride. I absolutely believe Sin manifests that way a lot of the time, but that’s not where it comes from.

Sin is the result of knowing there is a God.

Specifically, Sin is the result of knowing there is a God (something more/beyond all that we know), but not being able to fully comprehend what this God is up to.

We know something is going on, but we have no idea what it is, who’s doing it, how we fit into it, and how we “succeed” in the midst of it. This “unknowing” causes us a great deal of anxiety and fear, and to paraphrase my favorite theologian: “Where fear and anxiety are present, sin is sure to follow.”

We are not “sinners” because we are “bad.” We are “sinners” because we are afraid and anxious…

And then we do bad things.

When we get afraid and anxious, we treat our lives like a game of Survivor and we convince ourselves the only way to “win” is to outwit, outplay, and outlast. We convince ourselves that life is a “me game, not a we game.”

Theologically speaking, this is the problem. Yes, we will get to the solution, but before we do, we need to delve into some specifics of the problem.

Next time…